Saturday is shower day and I love it!  I get two showers a week so I usually take one mid-week and then save one for the weekend.  It is so hard to turn the shower water off and get out.  I could stay in there for hours.  I had Chris bring me some makeup this weekend.  I thought it was silly, but it turns out that a little bit of makeup made me feel better.  I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't see death-warmed-over for the first time in weeks.  Chris even said that I looked more like myself.

Wheelchair time has easily become my favorite time of the day.  I usually save it for when the girls come to visit because they get so restless in my hospital room (although today Chris and I enjoyed a lunch date out on the terrace).  We usually just go the waiting room or outside, but it is so nice to get out of my room and out of my bed.  I actually let Chris take a picture on Saturday.  Mia usually sits on my lap and Avery either pushes or rides on the back.  I have avoided any picture taking because I can't imagine wanting to remember all of this, but I suppose someday I will look back on this as part of our history.  The other picture included was too funny to not share.  Avery hopped into my bed last evening, stuck out her belly and put on the contraction monitor.  Mia calls it my "square."

Chris and I were talking today and I admitted that I feel so selfish but sometimes I long for my water to just break so this could all be over.  But then I think about how unhealthy a baby would be right now, and how there can be long-term effects of prematurity, and even without long-term effects it takes several years of medical hardships.  We know this first-hand with Mia.  So when I start feeling sorry for myself, I realize that all of this is not about me, it is about protecting our little Olivia.  And when I think about that, I can endure the aches, pains, boredom, loneliness and heartache of missing out on everything outside of these hospital walls.  Yes, it sucks, but deep down I know it is worth it.  God has such wonderful plans for Olivia.