I am sitting here at my computer with so many things running through my head.  The girls are in bed and Chris is gone.  It is rare that I have a moment to my thoughts.  Most of my spare time is spent preparing for something else.  But tonight it is just me and my coffee.

The last week Avery has been incredible!  She has been making "good choices" and has been so loving and kind.  Avery is our strong-willed one and parenting her is a continual challenge.  I read this week in my devotional that often we are harder on our children that mimic things we don't like about ourselves.  This is a perfect way to describe our relationship at times.  She is like me in so many ways and we often butt heads because of this.  But this devotional really help me see that Avery is God's child and therefore she is perfect.  He made us all the way we are to serve Him in some way.  My job as a parent isn't to change who Avery is, but to show her how to use all that she is to glorify God.  A change of perspective can make all the difference.  Tonight as I was putting Avery to bed, she gave me kisses all over my face and said "Mom, I sure do love you!"  Ahh, bliss.

God continues to add balance to my life because Mia has been a bit of a challenge lately.  We recently found out that Mia might be struggling with SID (Sensory Integration Dysfunction).  This would explain why she hated the sand so much and why we was scared of the pool.  She also hates having her hands dirty and struggles touching new environments.  This has increased significantly over the last three weeks.  For example, our library has a little pirate cove area where there is a fake sand flooring.  Avery and Mia have always liked playing on this little area.  However, we went to the library this week and when I put Mia down on the sand, she was terrified.  She is also having some trouble self-soothing.  When something frustrates her, she can't seem to calm down.  I thought part of this was her age, but her therapist seem to think all of this is related.  I guess kids with SID can really struggle trying to new things due to an overwhelming fear.  Mia's physical therapist is afraid this is going to keep Mia from walking because she is too scared when standing upright.  Her fear overrules her interest in walking.  We are not really sure what all of this means other than that we have to watch what textures Mia is introduced to because she might be terrified.  

I can't help feeling like this is just another label.  Another way to say something is not right with this child.  Part of me doesn't even care what it is called - just add it to the list so that when some medical professional asks and I can recite "Prematurity, Dandy Walker, Low Tone, PDA, VSD, Blood transfusions, GERD, Gastric stasis, Asthma, Laranglomalacia, and (drum roll, please for the newest addition) SID.  Excuse my sarcasm but as the list grows I wonder when Mia will be free from all of these labels.  Will she always have to have a medical chart the size of a dictionary?  She is just Mia to me - sweet, petite, little Mia.

Even in the midst of her fussiness, she is still sweet as can be.  She loves giving me kisses and will barely let me put her down.  And for over a week now, she has quit taking bottles.  She is eating all table food and milk and doing great.  The true test will be if she can gain weight without the bottles, but from what I have seen, I can't imagine that she wouldn't.  We have a video feeding test and nutritional evaluation on Monday so we will know more about how she is swallowing and if she is still aspirating when drinking. 

As for me, I am overwhelmed with so many emotions everyday, but mostly I feel blessed.  Who knows, maybe we will have that third one soon